𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 or training session?

You offer feedback to your employee, let's say to Alex, a constructive, clear, and well-meaning feedback — but suddenly:

- He crosses his arms and looks away.
- His tone sharpens as he defends his work.
- The room tenses up — feedback has turned into a battlefield.

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻?
Because feedback often feels personal — even when it’s not.

As trainers, managers, or leaders, your goal isn’t just to give feedback — it’s to make sure it’s received without triggering defensiveness.

So how do you turn feedback from friction into fuel?

𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖.𝗔.𝗟.𝗠. 𝗠𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗱 — a simple yet effective way to deliver feedback that builds trust, not tension:

𝟭. 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 — “I’m sharing this because I want us to grow together.”

𝟮. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗩𝗶𝗲𝘄 — “How do you feel about the project so far?”

𝟯. 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 — “Here’s what we can do to strengthen this.”

𝟰. 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗣𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆 — “Your effort is clear — let’s build on it.”

Why does this work?
✅ It shifts feedback from attack to collaboration.
✅ It lowers defenses by starting with empathy.
✅ It keeps the focus on improvement, not blame.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁: Feedback shouldn’t feel like a spotlight on flaws — it should feel like a shared path to growth.

So the next time someone bristles at feedback, don’t push harder — C.A.L.M. the conversation.

Because leadership isn’t about pointing fingers — it’s about pointing forward.

By the way how do you give feedback without sparking defensiveness?

Let’s swap strategies.

Abhishek Rajput
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#leaders #managers #trainers #icarians

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